Get a better mirror.

Over the last 2 months, Matt and I have slowly been re-watching the entire series of Parks and Rec. I think this is the third time.

I haven’t been reading as much as I’d like, especially as someone who openly declares herself an avid reader. But this has stint of timeless TV binging has been comforting and kind of what I needed. It’s light with just enough substance that you don’t feel dumber after watching it.

Turns out, things like this give me a kind of longing for the coworkers I never had.

I have been self-employed for my entire adult life.

No drama around the water cooler, but a lot of juggling around changing childcare and working at dawn.

And with it, there's opportunity - like yesterday, when our nanny called out sortof last minute so I shifted my plans and took Aaron to the park instead, just him and me on a random Tuesday morning. I was just bursting with gratitude for the gift of flexibility and getting to sit on a park bench in the sunshine and play pirate ship with him on the playground.

Still, as the years go on in this career, I’m finding I'm over the solitude.

I want people counting on me and I want to count on them - and I don’t mean outsourcing.

I’m talking IRL Coffee dates with internet friends. Random gatherings hosted just because. Daily Voxer threads with peers and photographers I’m coaching.

I hesitate to call them “students.” They’re talented women with full lives who trust me to walk alongside them during a season of growth and I get just as much delight from the conversations as I hope they get momentum.

Something shifts when you let yourself be in proximity like that.

Over time, people see you more clearly than you see yourself.

At my Galentine’s coffee gathering last week, someone described me as “very stylish” and I was truly shook, mostly because - and this is probably evident from my previous letter title “not-confident” - I am very not-confident about style.

I definitely care and pay attention to my clothes and attempt to look like a functioning adult, but am also extremely casual and cannot bring myself to accessorize or wear any kind of shoe with a heal on it.

I guess what I’m learning is how much other are able to reflect back to us things we can’t see ourselves.

Mirrors are supposed to be honest but they are really quite evil.

They catch us in a hold, outside of our element of delight - just glaring in bad lighting with RBF.

But the people who know you — who see you moving through a room, talking, laughing, being yourself— they see something different.

We all need better mirrors.

I like this as part of my job as a photographer a lot.

I want my work with you to feel honest and true, photos that hold vibrant versions of your best self. The way your friends see you, your kids, your spouse of 15 years.

That might mean putting you in better light or adjusting your angle because I’m not tryna be sloppy about it. I want you to see your insides on your outside, and there’s nuance to that.

I really really try to get to that level with the families I photograph because I want you to look at those photos and feel warmer towards yourself. You’re not going to like every image I take - that would be an unreasonable expectation. But I hope that you can print some that make your heart swell, both for the people you love and for your current self.

or all the baggage you hold, it’s not easy to lay it down and see yourself removed, light, content, and whole. I think we’d all like to feel like that more often, right?

So even if the vibe we craft in a session isn’t your “everyday” - it is a glimpse of that part of you that is allowed to forever stay this age, this loved, this held, this silly, this beautiful, this size, this shape. And not only allowed, but delighted in.

Sometimes your mirror is a coworker. Sometimes it’s a friend or your partner or maybe even sometimes, it's a photographer you trust.

If you don’t have a good mirror yet, maybe it’s time to go out and make one.

// new + noteworthy //

FOR THE LOCALS -MODEL CALL OPPORTUNITY! // If you haven't seen it on social yet or otherwise, I am seeking FOUR families to photograph as part of my upcoming retreat with 5 photographers from around the country. You'll get a completely free session and all the images we create in exchange for 1-2 hours of your time on March 27th or 28th. If you've been wanting to work together but the timing or price never felt right, this is a really fun opportunity. Sessions will take place at your home (so bonus if you live <1 hour from Madison, VA where we'll be staying!) and are intended to be relaxed, natural and true to your family dynamic (nothing overly styled or performance-driven!). All the details and applications are here!

FOR LAUGHS -

How I feel about fitness influencers.

The right team won

A pretty great conversation starter IMO

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